According to the infographic meme, the opposite of a vampire is a mailman. He was a mailman, and he definitely didn’t drink blood for sustenance. So he was definitely not a vampire but maybe not the opposite of one either as he was growing a bit of a vandyke-shaped beard. But it made him think. On dark overcast days the lack of UV seemed to drain the life out of him and prevent blood from pumping to his brain in the way it should. He wondered if that was how a vampire would feel on a sunny day in July, or if sunglasses could alleviate most of that.